Some Native American tribes have fostered the idea that grieving should never last more than a year. Ideally, if we could avoid it altogether, no one would complain. But very few who come to this world will escape feelings of loss and sorrow. Grieving is one of the many human emotions that are firmly embedded in our DNA and are part and parcel of being human, and designed to help us heal.
There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. Not many of us will simply be able to put a time-limit on grieving, nor should we be expected to. However, when grieving becomes a life-long chronic experience, the person who continues to suffer needs help.
Each of us will express grief differently, and those closest to persons who are suffering from loss in their lives might want to keep an open mind by not falsely interpreting a seeming lack of emotion as ‘uncaring’. Or view them as a person who is ‘just fine’. Still waters run very deep.
The world mourns together when those we all recognize and love have taken a final bow.
Loss of family pets is devastating, while the idea of losing a child makes most parents shudder and wonder how they could possibly survive the blow. The world mourns together when those we all recognize and love have taken a final bow. And we cling to shining ideals and inspiration that famous individuals have imparted on us through our stretch here on earth.
Losing our parents is typically at the top of our deep loss meter, and no preparation or advance warning signs will ever diminish the sorrow and grief that accompany losing people we love. We would have to be advanced souls, indeed, to embrace the death of loved ones and give thanks for their passing. We will work on it. For the masses, however, we will definitely go through some motions and emotions.
Stages of Grieving
Denial and Isolation allow pain to creep in slowly instead of flooding our being. Sudden death of a loved one is a major shock to the system because there was no preparation time to brace ourselves. This will not last.
Anger is generally the next step when the denial and isolation fail to alleviate the pain. Anger is an attempt to make someone, including ourselves, feel guilty. This will not last.
Bargaining and Guilt is a typical response of feeling that we did not do enough to keep our loved one from leaving. We start bargaining to allay feelings of helplessness and vulnerability, and then accept blame and feelings of guilt for not doing enough to prevent the inevitable or unavoidable from happening. This, too, will not last.
Depression is right behind guilt. In fact, they are holding hands. Letting ourselves go emotionally can lead to our own physical illness, made manifest by deep-seated feelings of lack of love of self. This will be healed and will not last.
Acceptance of the departure of people and animals that we love is never going to be an easy road. The journey may take some time and serious soul-searching to get to a place which does not keep us locked in ‘Stage One’ of denial and isolation. Have faith – this will not last.
How to Release, Let Go, and Heal
Grief is another word for grieving, anger, mad, madness. The concept of losing love when viewed through forgiving eyes, which are opened through gratitude, becomes impossible. There is no separation in love, and death is for the physical body only.
Ways to work through grief include sharing thoughts and feelings with others in support groups. We are not alone!
Get up and move! Exercise and healthy life-style choices will help us heal.
Talk to family and friends and never believe you are a burden. How many people have you helped in your life? Learn to accept love and care without feeling guilty.
Forgiveness and Gratitude
Forgive those who have died or moved on. Forgive pets that grew old and crossed over Rainbow Bridge. Forgive yourself for the guilt you feel by falsely believing you could have saved them from casting off or moving on without you in their life.
Complete forgiveness literally erases all unloving thoughts. When only loving thoughts remain, eternal love, which never dies, is happily remembered. This is the Sacred Center from which all life and all love radiates. It is yours right now.
Make your gratitude list longer than your grievances list until only the gratitude remains. Here is your happiness.
Express gratitude every single day for everything that comes to you in life. Make your gratitude list longer than your grievances list until only the gratitude remains. Here is your happiness. And remember those you love and miss with fondness. Share shining moments of their lives with other people. And laugh about the funny things that happened along the way. Right now – think of something your loved one once said that made you laugh so hard; say it out loud.
Remember the funny antics of your dog or cat – their primary purpose in your life was to make you happy. Did they succeed? Take these sweet dreams to bed with you at night and be grateful that you experienced the essence of these lovely beings in your life. Happy thoughts are healing thoughts. Love is the Answer.
Carmen Allgood © 2016
Join us for Highest Self Healing Radio Sunday @ 8:30 A.M. MST on KINT98.com as David Patterson, Music Miles, and Carmen Allgood talk about Energetic Medicine, and how to clear dis-ease from the mind and body. Download the Broadcast Podcast from the Talk Shows page.